Gender Bias

I absolutely detest the word “feminist”. From a young age, my mother taught me not to use the word “hate” because t’s such a strong word, one in which you can never take back. So for my mother’s sake, I don’t hate those who consider themselves “feminist”, but they strongly irk me. Now before you go judging me, hear me out…I am, woman, after all…

Being a true quote feminist unquote myself, I struggle with what the term feminism has come to take on. It’s connotation is that women are weak and feeble, and require a rallying of women to stand up for one another, regardless of their cause or stance.  I strongly believe that a true feminist sees themself as genderless. While we are indubitably oppressed by our male dominant culture, shifting our culture to one predominated by females is also not the answer. The future is a society in which we do not see gender as a qualifier, and I argue, not even as an adjective. It is an after fact. A nice to know, for some, but to most, completely irrelevant. What matters is what we stand for. Our position. Our facts. Our logic. 

Logic. Unfortunately, in today’s society, logic is no longer a hot commodity. What should be treated like gold is laughed at like copper and forgotten like our friend Abraham. All it takes is for our friend Benjamin to post something trendy on instagram, for our society to go wild on social media— tweeting about things in which we have no clue about, and retweeting rants so we seem relevant.  In today’s society, we have forgotten what it means to be a true feminist, and really, any cause for that matter. We are the most vocal generation, yet the most disheartening. Riddle me that. 

My intent with this post is not to put down women. In fact, some of the most beautiful moments in my life are a result of women empowering women. My point is don’t empower women because of their gender, empower women because of their logic, because of their stance, because of their strong, powerful, mind. We don’t need your pity, so let’s take gender out of the equation, and just support one another because that’s what we truly believe. 

Mt. Whitney

It was September 16th, 2016 around 2:30 am when I staggered into the bathroom to brush my teeth. No, I wasn't staggering to brush my teeth before bed after being out all night at the bars. Not today at least. Instead, I was staggering drunk on sleep to brush my teeth and head out for the day.  September 16th was the day I would summit the largest mountain in the contiguous United States, Mt. Whitney. 

The 2:30 am wake up call was imperative as it would take us a total of 13 hours to hike the 22 miles and ascend a total of 6,100 ft. We, including my boyfriend Matt and his dad Tony, were at the trailhead by 3:35 am, ready with our headlamps and packs to start our journey. Fortunately for us September 16th also happened to be a full moon, so as we started our trek we were gently guided by the moon's luminescence. The light that shown on the mountains gave a newfound inspiration for our hike, and I was giddy as could be making my way up the first few miles in the dark. 

My giddiness shortly faded when I learned that Tony pulled his hamstring just a mile and half into the journey. When he told Matt and I the news, we encouraged him to try to walk it off and reassess. A half mile later, Tony stopped and told us that he better return back to camp. Even if he could tough it out for a few miles to the top (a few being nine), he would be in trouble coming back down.  

And just like that, there were two. 

The two of us turned up the pace and continued on. By 7:30 we made it to trail camp, which is about half way. Up 'til trail camp seemed like a breeze. I'm not sure if it was the fresh legs or the excitement that carried us through, but by trail camp we had already climbed up 3,600 ft to reach 12,000 ft. 

And then we hit the 99 switchbacks... the infamous 99 switchbacks. I was naive enough to think that they were called 99 switchbacks just because they seemed never ending, but that's not the case. To be fair, my assumption wasn't totally off base as in fact there aren't actually 99 switchbacks, only 97. 97, 99, who's counting though really? I certainly wasn't. All I know is that the "99 switchbacks" is a 2.2 mile stretch that rises 1,700 feet. That's roughly 770 ft elevation gain per mile (for comparison sake, the average elevation gain on the trail is 550 ft/ mile). We slowly but surely trudged up the never ending switchbacks, stopping every 15-20 minutes to catch our breaths. As we rested, groups passed us, and when we continued on, we passed them. It was a constant back and forth of passing familiar faces. These familiar faces are one of my favorite parts about being on the trail. Much like I've learned in my experiences traveling abroad, people are generally more genuine and friendly when they are removed from the mundane so called "real world" we live in. Everyone we passed was in good spirits, albeit struggling, they were happily struggling. We were all struggling together, and when you passed someone who wasn't looking so hot, you stop to make sure he or she is OK-- that's just the general mentality out there on the mountain. It's refreshing.

As we rounded about our last switchback, two men were heading towards us descending from the summit. We overheard them talking to the group in front of us and watched as he pointed out which peak was Mt. Whitney. As he pointed, mine and Matt's jaws dropped, "It's the one way over there?!" I exclaimed butting into their conversation. "So what you're saying is that we aren't close?"  I couldn't believe it. My FitBit had given me the false hope that we were already 10 miles in and only had another mile to go. I soon learned that we in fact had 2.8 miles to go. Another 0.9 miles to Trail Crest and then 1.9 miles from Trail Crest to the summit.

The last 1.9 miles were the longest 1.9 miles of my life. By this point, we were at 13,650' and making our final ascent to 14,508'. We could feel the elevation with every step we took. We weren't nauseous or dizzy or anything, but we were definitely losing our  breath faster than normal. I can't remember exactly how long it took us to finish the last 1.9 miles, but it certainly felt like an eternity.

Finally, by 11:30 am, I could see the house that sits on the top of Mt. Whitney and I was elated. Seeing that little house a few hundred feet ahead brought so much more joy than I ever imagined. We quickly scurried the rest of the way up and plopped down on a rock. No pictures, no signing of the guest book, it was peanut butter jelly time. After inhaling my sandwich, along with a protein bar and some branched chain amino acids, I was feeling revived. I honestly hadn't realized how much the hike took out of me. We sat a while longer, took in the view, and watched people's expressions as they finally made it to the top. It's somewhat amusing to see how people react when they reach the summit. One group of girls pulled out tall cans, their dad a flask full of whiskey, meanwhile another straggler reconnected with his group, yelling "You guys partying without me?!". A group climbing the face of the mountain (I'm talking ropes and harnesses) high fived as they made it to the top, while people around clapped at their accomplishment, and the Asian tourists swarmed for their picture. It's an experience all too unique and eclectic to forget.   

Nevertheless, we took our pictures, signed the guest book, and just like that were gone. Headed back down the 11 miles we came up. There isn't really much to report about the hike coming down. We were up at the top for a good hour, so by the time we descended, our legs were fresh and ready to take on the journey. It was only downhill (for the most part) from there after all. We made it back to the car by 6 pm, roughly five hours later. Matt's dad waited for us with open arms, happy to see that we made it. We embraced him, equally happy that we made it and ready for some cold brews.


My tips for Mt. Whitney: 

1. Wake up early the day before your hike, so you're ready for bed by 6 or 7pm. A good nights sleep will be your saving grace 
2. Sleep in a hotel. I don't think acclimating will do you much good. You're either in good enough cardiovascular shape to make it to the top or not. Simple as that. I think a good nights sleep is more important
3. Stretch! You don't want a pulled hamstring or something else to ruin your trip 
4. Fill up your water at trail camp. That's the last place before the summit you can refill your water and you're going to need it. We made the dumb assumption that we could get away with our 3L half way full from trail camp up to the summit.  
5. You need to be in good cardiovascular shape to do this hike. DO NOT assume your light jogs every 3 days a week will get you through this. Unless you are fit, the altitude will likely get to you. I suggest doing a hike at least 2/3 the mileage of mt. Whitney with similar elevation gain (~600 ft/ mile) before.
6. Eat often! We tried to eat roughly every 2 hours. We skipped one snack break just before the summit because we thought we were close, and I could feel it. My legs ached until I put some more energy in it.

Our trip in pictures: 

 

The most deceiving sign there ever was

Just in case you were curious to see what the elevation gains looked like

 

Not so glamorous

While I know it may seem as though I have been rubbing my trip to Indonesia in all of your faces with my pictures and descriptions of the magnificent beaches, cheap rooms, awesome views, fun treks, massages, and excellent food, my trip was not as glamorous as I may have portrayed it at times. After all I did go to Indonesia, and like any third world country, there are some amenities that you should simply not expect when you travel outside of the US or any other well established country. At times it was frustrating, while other times were so ridiculous that we couldn't do anything but laugh at our misfortune.

In short, I present you with a summary of some of the many odd things that happened on our trip. May you find just as much pleasure as I did frustration.

• Our hostel decided to fumigate the area while we are all laying by the pool with no warning. Hello smoke bomb. 
• While traveling to the Gili T island, one of the pumps on the speed boat was not working. In order to fix the problem, one Indonesian man laid on his stomach and reached his hand into the motor room (engine still running, duhhh...) and began shoveling water out in buckets while the other Indonesian crew member held his feet from sliding head first into the engine room. Safety first! 
• Our speed boat ran out of gas on the way to the Gili T island (same trip, mind you). For a solid thirty minutes we were stranded in the middle of the ocean-- one man shoveling water out of the pump room and another refilling the gas. Ya imagine that. I think I was high off fumes for the rest of the day. 
• Last note on the speed boat trip (my favorite, obviously) they oversold the number of returning tickets. The concept of business in Indonesia-- Goal: just sell as many tickets as people are willing to buy. Solution when the boat hits its occupancy: well sorry about it! We were forced to buy tickets from another company because my friend had a flight to catch the next morning. And no, you don't get your money back. 
• The sunrise hike up the volcano: getting picked up at 2 in the morning to wait for the sun to rise 4 hours later. Makes perfect sense. 
• Sunrise hike up the volcano cost $40. Selling point: includes tour guide, flashlights, breakfast, and transportation. Um so ya it included one tiny flashlight and two hard boiled eggs. You had to pay extra if you wanted hot coffee. 

Plus a number of other things that I am sure you can imagine went wrong, but that is the fun of going to places like Indonesia. If you can't learn to live with brushing things of your shoulder, you'll end up carrying a load full of bricks by yourself across the finish line.

The American Dream

Every time I travel to a third world country, I experience a huge culture shock with respect to work ethic and drive. I am indifferent as to which work ethic is "better"-- the die hard, animalistic drive of America or the lazy and oblivious work ethic of third world counties. Nevertheless, going to a third world country never ceases to shock me to the point of questioning the way the American society functions. 

As a recent college graduate who has blindly walked the plank into the ocean filled with killer whales, I have a new found respect for working parents. I barely have enough time to take care of myself during the week. I cannot even to begin to imagine how draining it would be to come home to a house full of kids in desperate need of attention and food. 

When its broken down, there are 168 hours we have to spend in one week:

• 40 hours of which are spent at work (24% of our time)
• Assuming a 30 minute commute to work, we spend another 5 hours just driving to work, leaving us with 123 hours 
• According to doctors orders, another 6.5 hours a week (30 min/day) should be spent exercising, leaving us with 119.5 hours
• Taking into the consideration of all the time we spend on everyday life obligations (eating, showering, shaving, dressing, going to the bathroom, etc), we are down to 98 hours 
• (30 min/meal * 3 meals/day) + additional 30 min for dinner
• 1.5 hours/day showering, shaving, dressing, going to the bathroom
• Lastly, we need sleep. Pretending we have enough time to get the full 8 hours of recommended sleep each night, we are left with 42 hours

42 hours of freedom. 25 hours of which are spent on the weekend, leaving us with 3.5 a day during the week. And mind you this does not include household chores such as laundry, grocery shopping, washing dishes, getting gas, going to the doctor, etc. 

For every hour we work, we earn one hour of free time, which begs the question: what are we really working for? Are we working to live or living to work? 

Zombies of the first world

As the eagle was killed by the arrow winged with his own feather, so the hand of the world is wounded by its own skill. 

Helen Keller 

The beauty of going to a third world country is that it is not yet wounded by its own skill. The skills and technology we have developed in first world countries have unfortunately stripped us of nearly every innate survival skill we once knew. We struggle to experience life itself-- to think critically, to communicate, and to reason. When everything is just a click away, it would seem that all we have left to do is to live, but yet, we are slowly dying. 

Our goal is to maximize our time and efficiency. We are constantly developing our technology so that we have the fastest phones, can navigate through the web faster via apps, and can avoid getting lost or sitting in traffic by using google maps. In all this effort to maximize our time we forget the very reason driving us to save it-- our family, our friends, our lives. 

Their goal, on the other hand, is to spend time wisely. There is no sense of urgency. So long as your are enjoying your time, what else is there for you to accomplish that day? Dinner in Indonesia always lasted at least 2 hours. The waiters never pressed us for our bill, and even when we requested it, they did not bring it promptly. The mentality is completely different than that in the United States. For instance, if a person in the U.S were to walk into a coffee shop, buy a coffee, and then linger around for three hours, chances are that the barista would make him or her buy another drink. If not the barista, then the free wifi connection would surely prompt the customer to buy another drink. That is a scenario I think we are all quite frankly a little too accustomed to in the U.S; that, however, is not the case in Indonesia. 

While we were in Indonesia, the five of us embraced this concept of time as best we could. Each night we would go out to dinner and patiently wait an hour for our food to be brought out. In the meantime, we casually sipped on our 32 oz. Bintangs, played cars, laughed, conversed, and even debated. We embraced the unfamiliar circumstances of sitting patiently and soberly enjoying company. We got into sort of a routine: drink a beer, place an order, talk, and wait. When we could no longer ignore the howling of our stomachs, we resorted to cards. This had been our routine until the night we decided to go to an Italian restaurant for dinner(...in Bali, I know-- right? The boys were sick of eating vegetables and wanted something heartier. I was perfectly satisfied with my veggies, rice, and chili sauce). Not only did this restaurant serve pasta and pizza in Bali, but it also offered free wifi. This time when we sat down there was no beers, no laughing, and no cards. Instead we sat in silence as we mindlessly logged onto our Facebook or instagram, checked our e-mail, and looked up sports stats on ESPN. Just like that we were all instantly hypnotized by the free wifi. Zombies of the first world.

One of the most beautiful things about going to a third world country is that it forces us to detach from our phones and our gadgets and actually experience life, love, and friendship. For that, I will always have a reason to return. 

My Trip in Pictures (Indonesia)

After 18 hours of traveling, I finally land in Bali, Indonesia. And of course, first things first: I hit the streets of Kuta for a night out on the town.

Kuta is not a place you want to stay for longer than a day. It's kind of like Tijuana-- a place where you go to buy really cheap souvenirs and fake nikes or to party. After spending two nights in Kuta (one night too many) we were ready for something a little more mellow, so we headed off to Bingin beach. Bingin beach is much more of the typical Bali. It's very quiet and relaxing, filled with beautiful beaches and die hard surfers. 

We had to walk down some gnarly steps to get to our $25 a night room...

...but it was totally worth it. 

Padang Padang Beach, Bingin

Ulu Watu, Bingin 

Oh and in case you are wondering what kind of view $25 gets you, this is it.

Bingin was great. We would wake up in the morning for some yoga, then go down to the beach and eat breakfast at one of the shacks right on the water (usually fresh fruit and fresh squeezed fruit juice...so delicious and refreshing!), lay out on the beach all day, get a $5 hour long massage, and then end the night with dinner on the water. One night we had this awesome candelit dinner on the beach where they caught fresh fish and cooked it right in front of us. 

The shacks on bingin beach. 

 I was obsessed with the fresh fruit juices and large coconuts!! 

We spent four days at Bingin beach, and by the last day we were all sunned out so we headed to the mountains in Ubud. Ubud is beautiful with its temples and traditional Hindu architecture. The scenery is luscious and green as it is tucked up in the mountains. It's full of culture and incredible vibes. It's a well known spot for retreats since there are yoga studios on practically every corner, restaurants that focus on whole foods and detoxifying the body, and ornate temples. For me, something felt so right about being in Ubud. It's a place that seemed impossible to feel anything but calm, collected, and content. 

Rice paddies in Ubud

While we were in Ubud we took a sunrise hike to the top of the volcano, which was fun but lets just say quite the experience. First we got picked up at 2 am in the morning, which was totally unnecessary considering we made it to the top of the volcano two hours before the sunrise. Second being the dumb Californians we are, we wore shorts and tank tops. Bad idea anytime you are hiking up a volcano, what were we thinking? So for two hours we sat in freezing anticipation for the sun to rise, and just as it hit 6am...fog rolled in and we couldn't see a damn thing. Fortunately, we were all delirious and able to laugh at most of our misfortunes. In the end, the trek was fun and I would do it again (but I would rent the $5 jacket that we were too stingy to rent!). 

Seriously? 

I was able to quickly snap one photo in between the rolling fog

Freezing our asses off

The Trek

It was well worth it when it finally cleared up 

Post trek, our cab driver was nice enough to take us to a coffee plantation for a much needed caffeine kick. We had the opportunity to see how the coffee was made and taste a variety of Bali coffees (including ginger coffee..my favorite!)

Coffee flight 

Our last stop in Indonesia before heading back to Kuta for our departures was The Gilis. Gili T is a tiny island with no motorized vehicles that takes less than an hour to run around (exactly 40 minutes). It's very touristy but laid back. Gili T is obviously just one big beach but it was beautiful with spectacularly clear water. There we snorkled (and the fish were the most beautiful fish I have ever seen and I am not exaggerating! If only I had an underwater camera for proof), did stand up paddle boarding, and watched the sunset while sitting on bean bags and drinking sangria. It was the perfect way to end a long two week vacation. 

It doesn't get much better than posting up in one of these shacks while having a drink and watching the sunset

The last thing worth mentioning about Indonesia is the food. I am obsessed with the food in Bali! It is so much more flavorful than I anticipated. Apart from the fresh fruit and juices, which are to die for don't get me wrong (and only $1 or less even!), the traditional food was rich in spices and included lots of fresh vegetables. While I was there I became addicted to their hot sauce Asli (which you will most likely be receiving as a souvenir). For those of you who know me well, I am a newbie when it comes to hot sauces, so for me to rant and rave about it means it must be good. It was so good that at one point on the trip I was sweating and crying because my mouth was on fire but I kept adding hot sauce to my food, but I digress... The typical meal is called nasi campur, which is awesome because there is a variety of things to choose from. It's basically like a buffet style. They hand you a plate of rice and get to choose as many side toppings as you would like (the options are almost overwhelming because everything is so good: corn fritters, vegetable fritters, vegetables, tofu, curry, chicken, pretty much anything and everything you ever wanted). 

I'm kicking myself because I did not take any pictures of our dinners while I was there! This is what I could find on google, but it doesn't nearly do it justice. 

The assortment of sides to choose from may look something like this. 

All in all it was a great trip spent with great company...Cheers!

P.S. Stay tuned- more stories and adventures from Indonesia to come, but I just wanted to get this out for you who are dying to hear about my trip.

it's a little bit funny...

This feeling inside. It's hard to characterize exactly what it is. I feel mostly overwhelmed with sadness, which is interrupted every few weeks by a state of euphoria.  The euphoria is usually caused by the thought of what I am going through, not the actual experience itself. The thought that everything is, or at least should be, going so perfectly in life right now. The thought that I am in the best year(s) of my life:  I just graduated from college, landed an amazing job, have  a loving boyfriend of three years, and have gotten the chance to see my family three times in the last month due to the constant celebration. As I think of all that I am grateful for, I float away in my elated state of mind.

 

But as soon as I stop thinking about how wonderful everything should be and begin to experience life, I am smacked in the face with reality.  I feel anxious and worthless. Now that I don't consistenly have something to do, I struggle to keep myself occupied. I insult myself by remaining uptight and time orientated, which only brings to my attention how little I have to do. My feelings conflict: all I want is a time to relax, but I can't seem to stop moving. 

 

Time is not the only thing my mind cannot decide on. I always want to be surrounded by people, yet I just want to keep to myself. I want to be with my boyfriend forever, but instinctively, a part of me retreats out of fear. Somehow, the things that used to bring me so much fulfillment, seem so shallow and petty as I enter the "real" world. I guess this is what it feels like to be in the middle. Caught in the middle between work and play; between Sacramento and Los Angeles; between my sanity and my drive; between youth and adulthood; between past and future. Sappy. Yes, that's what this feeling is-- caught between sad and happy.

 

College has taught me how to work and be social, but I have yet to learn about the imperfections, the uncategorized, and the uncertain. I need to learn to embrace life and all of its rough transitions because I am certain this is not the only time I will feel sappy, it's just the first.

primetime baby!

Graduation, as many of you may know or expect, is a time filled with mixed emotions. Personally, I have tried to block out all the feelings of anxiousness and sadness by remaining permadrunk all weekend. Now that my four day binge is finally coming to an end, I have a moment to reflect on what was, what is, and what is to come. 

The last five years have been amazing. I have learned so much--not only as a professional but as an individual. College has opened my eyes to the privileges I have been given, and it has made me want to work harder because of how fortunate I am. I have developed new interests, new friends, and finally- a backbone. I feel strong, confident, intelligent, and ready to step out into the real world. I feel so grateful and loved. While I know college is a privilege for the truly dedicated, I believe everyone should strive to go to college. It has made me who I am today and has put so much more meaning into life.  It has given me the sense that I can accomplish anything and the desire to give back.

I believe that if everyone were educated, the world would truly be a better place. As a nation, we would understand the importance of being informed and opinionated, which hopefully would lead us to be more proactive. We would understand the suffering of other people and be less judge-mental. We would recognize that our time is much more valuable than watching reruns of Jersey Shore or The Real Housewives, and we would become more intimate. We would understand the beauty of the world, other languages, and other cultures, and thus, travel more. We would recognize our potential and worth, and continually strive to be the best possible version of ourself. And while I am certainly proud to say that I have graduated with an engineering degree, I think what I learned about myself along the way is much more valuable. 

As for what is and what is to come? Well that’s where the mixed emotions begin to start. I have a job here in SLO, which means I will stay in this small college town and wave as I watch everyone of my friends drive off. I will be surrounded by incoming freshman as I try to establish myself as a young professional, and I will still be hours away from my loved ones. I won’t have the joy of seeing my friends in class everyday, nor will I be able to make fun of my teachers ridiculous comments. So as excited as I am to start my new job and the next chapter of my life, I am saddened; however, I am always brought back to reality when I think of what is to come. Five years ago, I would have never pictured myself at Cal Poly, and it now turns out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. College was everything I dreamed for and so much more. What is to come after that? I can only imagine, but by judging from past experiences, I have a feeling it won’t be too shabby. After all, I’m only 23...it’s primetime baby! 

pictures from colombia

just a few pictures from colombia...

the beach was very lively. don't be fooled by the term street vendor, they permeate into the beach as well. despite the street vendors, i loved the beach with the live music and women walking around with baskets of fruit on their heads. the chaos is all part of the south american culture and i love it! 

 a view from the roof of our hotel in cartegena. maybe now you can understand why i wanted to cry when it was time to leace. the most beautiful place on earth!

 i wasn't lying! the women walk around with baskets of fruit on their head, offering "massajes" and "coco locos"

the group in bogota. an awesome trip, thanks corcorans!

if you are interested in more pictures, just let me know and i will post some or e-mail them to you. i have lots to share!